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soviet_cowboy's Journal
Created on 2008-04-29 16:58:25 (#15479918), last updated 2008-09-06
66 comments received, 194 comments posted
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11 Journal Entries, 4 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 11 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | soviet_cowboy |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 1944-06-06 |
BioMun Information:
Name: Jack (Oliver is my first name. It's more distinctive. Either is fine)
LJ:![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
soviet_cowboy
E-mail: jgriffithsmd@gmail.com
IM: hivefleetarctic or MSN at WolfishCritter@gmail.com
Character Information
Name: Adamska "Ocelot" Vasilevskiy
Fandom: Metal Gear Solid 3
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Sexual Orientation: Homosexual ( Canon )
Occupation: Patient
Personality: Ocelot is cocky, mean, judgmental, quick to anger, easily depressed, bad at interpersonal relationships, violent, obsessive, impulsive, and manipulative. However, he is very good at wearing a mask that makes him much more pleasant, charismatic, and friendly. His is obsessive compulsive: he has his rituals that he feels he needs to follow or he will plummet into nervousness. Because his conditions have never really been deprived of him, he has had few problems coping with his nervousness.
His coping methods include his behavior with spinning his gun and keeping his appearance sharp. Neither of these conditions are going to be met well at the asylum. So, in a way, he will be unhappier and more vulnerable.
History: Ocelot's life has always been a strange and unfortunate set of events. When he was born, he was put up for adoption. He was adopted by a family of military and ex-military men and women, not all who were in their right minds. From a young age, Adamska had to deal with excessive physical and mental discipline at the mercy of family members whose minds had been overloaded with the terrors of war.
He never exactly learned right from wrong, but rather how much his actions would anger his family. His mother was the only sane one, though that could be debated as she had adopted him to create a safe, pure, happy spot for herself. She treated him with the utmost kindness, though this could not offset the rest of the family.
As he moved into young adolescence, he found that no, he was not interested in the girls he went to school with, but rather the slightly older athletic boys. He pursued sports to be near them. His family discovered his intentions, and sent him off to military school "to get the fag whipped out of him".
There, Adamska simply found a career path and outlet for his frustration. His surroundings kept him secretive, but the opportunity to draw attention to himself was staggering, and he took every one of them to show how good of a shot he was or how brilliant he was in certain subjects. He moved through school until he graduated and joined the Marines at 18. The combined efforts of his skill and orientation skyrocketed him through ranks. He had his own unit, and they all called him Ocelot. He was feral and tricky, and they joked that he wore the spurs like a cat's bell to let everyone know he was coming. The spurs are one of the objects he grew unhealthy attachment to and thus fuels his OCD on them.
He was on the top of his little world until one mission he was to work alongside "Snake" on a mission. He was a double agent pretending to work for the enemy. Though the mission was brief, it was intense and Ocelot developed an obsessive and passionate crush on the man. Part of the crush clued Ocelot's subconscious off that he felt Snake was better than himself.
His ego got the best of him, and he shot out the man's eye. The mission was a success, though the story of how the other man had lost his eye was not kept secret. Adamska moved out of the military quietly, and moved around for a while. He never found a place he liked being, though.
Though his penchant for being the center of attention lead to quite a scene where he was shipped off to his first asylum. He refuses to talk about the incident currently, but what's written in notes is that upon seeing someone who looked very much like the soldier he shot the eye out of, he broke into tears and followed the man for hours until authorities were called.
Ocelot spent a week at the former asylum where he regressed further. He seemed to have made friends, but it is unlikely that these relationships were honest. Ocelot went unmedicated and without therapy for several days. He was reassigned to another asylum by Dr.John Hayter who is also "Snake".
Ocelot was also insufficiently diagnosed by his previous institute.
Symptoms: Ocelot exhibits several types of anxiety disorders including Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and Separation Anxiety. His anxiety is comorbid with Borderline Personality Disorder which makes him more dangerous.
Ocelot is an extremely nervous person who has learned to mask the "weakness" with his grand facades and OCD tic stabilizers. Ocelot's default outward emotion can be summed up by "pleasant attention whore". He likes to draw attention to himself so that he can direct other's vision of him to his better qualities such as skill or intelligence or eccentric quirkiness. Ocelot is uncomfortable when he is not in some sort of spotlight.
However, his OCD objects that help him keep the facade were his revolvers and spurs, both items that due to their obvious danger potential were taken from Ocelot. He complains about needing them frequently and has done things like spinning pens or shoelaces that he has stolen or moving in rigid patterns. Also without his uniform has a whole nervous activity gone: fiddling with his uniform's belts, scarf, holsters, wrinkles and neatness.
Ocelot's PTSD developed from his career and home life. Because he is recently ex-military, he can still vividly remember all the grisly sights of dead and half dead people strewn across a battle field. He sometimes has nightmares concerning it, but because of the way he thinks, he recalls the images during casual conversation. But before his military life, he was adopted into a house where nearly everyone was military or ex-military and consequently he was abused physically and mentally out of their PTSD. PTSD sufferers are known to be more likely to abuse children and family members.
Ocelot's strange crush on Snake led to severe attachment and Separation Anxiety after the mission. After he had pulled himself together enough to go look for Snake, he began obsessing more than usual. He was upset for not being around him, and wanted desperately to go back to him. At his old asylum he met back up with Snake (aka Dr.John Hayter) and stabilized in a sense. However he also became unhealthily attached to the concept of him being at an arm's length.
To cap off his anxiety, Ocelot is Borderline. He exhibits excessive impulsively, anger management issues, and "splitting" on his more manic days. Prior to institutionalization, he would consistently act out on him anger and impulses. His impulses were always dangerous ones such as pursuing enemies under-armed, playing with his guns, or giving off a fighting attitude.
He does everything he can to remain in close enough contact with Hayter, and everyone else he has very unstable relationships with. He constantly near-worships and devalues everyone according to their actions. Ocelot has trouble leaving wounds alone, and had a brief episode of self mutilation a few years back. He has chronic feelings of worthlessness because he has always measured himself by his actions. When he fails, he can't take it in a healthy manner, he simply loses his self respect and self-worth. This also ties into his instability of moods.
Ocelot can have very good days when he wants to be around people. but mostly he just wants to be loved the same way his mother loved him. That is, obsessively and completely. Which he is not going to find in a normal relationship.
Examples
Roleplay:
Ocelot walked in a tight circle in his room. He paced around, trying to get a hold of his mind. He still did not have his revolvers or spurs. Yet he needed both to maintain sanity. He had not yet been medicated. Just brought in. Ocelot had the distinct feeling he was living in his own mind since the move. He liked it back at his old asylum. The doctors and nurses left him alone, and he could just walk around as he pleased. Except they still took this things.
Ocelot looked around for anything to settle himself. The circular pacing was making him dizzy. He fell backwards onto his bed, and covered his face until his head stopped swimming. He pulled the left lace out of his sneaker and twirled it, letting it wrap around his hand with a gentle whipping motion. Then he'd turn it the opposite direction. And repeat. Find John, his brain cried. Ocelot stood, the blood rushing to his head. He kept a firm grip on the shoelace, twirling it as discreetly as he could. His vision went black and blotchy, but he kept his balance long enough for that to clear.
"What a fine institution," he muttered to himself once he left his room. The lay out was different from his last vacation. He's have to do what he always did: learn the area and pretend he'd been there his whole life. Except.
There was still something unnerving about being surrounded by crazy people, Ocelot thought, adamantly
disregarding that he could also fit "crazy". John told him before he was shipped off that some of his friends would be here, too. He could always reacquaint himself with them. But he needed John. Perhaps if Ocelot made some new friends, John would be better inclined to believe he was alright in the head.
Mission: Allies resumed. Ocelot took note of the cameras and the few unfriendly looking guards. This was a very, very different place indeed.
Journal Entry: Six sentences minimum. We'd just like a sample of a typical journal entry once in the asylum.
Fuck. Fuck. This place is nothing like the old asylum. I'm so fucked.
Everyone already knows how I feel about John. If they take him from me I'm going to have to.
I'm not writing that. I'm not insane. Goddmanit I'm not insane and no one will believe me.
Let me out. God. I should have paid my way out while I was at the last place, they were so corrupt and
I'm scared.
John. If you're reading this. Come find me. Please.
Travis. We could go have a good time. Just. Sitting and talking and pretending Nothing Exists.
I'm not insane. I promise.
Name: Jack (Oliver is my first name. It's more distinctive. Either is fine)
LJ:
soviet_cowboyE-mail: jgriffithsmd@gmail.com
IM: hivefleetarctic or MSN at WolfishCritter@gmail.com
Character Information
Name: Adamska "Ocelot" Vasilevskiy
Fandom: Metal Gear Solid 3
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Sexual Orientation: Homosexual ( Canon )
Occupation: Patient
Personality: Ocelot is cocky, mean, judgmental, quick to anger, easily depressed, bad at interpersonal relationships, violent, obsessive, impulsive, and manipulative. However, he is very good at wearing a mask that makes him much more pleasant, charismatic, and friendly. His is obsessive compulsive: he has his rituals that he feels he needs to follow or he will plummet into nervousness. Because his conditions have never really been deprived of him, he has had few problems coping with his nervousness.
His coping methods include his behavior with spinning his gun and keeping his appearance sharp. Neither of these conditions are going to be met well at the asylum. So, in a way, he will be unhappier and more vulnerable.
History: Ocelot's life has always been a strange and unfortunate set of events. When he was born, he was put up for adoption. He was adopted by a family of military and ex-military men and women, not all who were in their right minds. From a young age, Adamska had to deal with excessive physical and mental discipline at the mercy of family members whose minds had been overloaded with the terrors of war.
He never exactly learned right from wrong, but rather how much his actions would anger his family. His mother was the only sane one, though that could be debated as she had adopted him to create a safe, pure, happy spot for herself. She treated him with the utmost kindness, though this could not offset the rest of the family.
As he moved into young adolescence, he found that no, he was not interested in the girls he went to school with, but rather the slightly older athletic boys. He pursued sports to be near them. His family discovered his intentions, and sent him off to military school "to get the fag whipped out of him".
There, Adamska simply found a career path and outlet for his frustration. His surroundings kept him secretive, but the opportunity to draw attention to himself was staggering, and he took every one of them to show how good of a shot he was or how brilliant he was in certain subjects. He moved through school until he graduated and joined the Marines at 18. The combined efforts of his skill and orientation skyrocketed him through ranks. He had his own unit, and they all called him Ocelot. He was feral and tricky, and they joked that he wore the spurs like a cat's bell to let everyone know he was coming. The spurs are one of the objects he grew unhealthy attachment to and thus fuels his OCD on them.
He was on the top of his little world until one mission he was to work alongside "Snake" on a mission. He was a double agent pretending to work for the enemy. Though the mission was brief, it was intense and Ocelot developed an obsessive and passionate crush on the man. Part of the crush clued Ocelot's subconscious off that he felt Snake was better than himself.
His ego got the best of him, and he shot out the man's eye. The mission was a success, though the story of how the other man had lost his eye was not kept secret. Adamska moved out of the military quietly, and moved around for a while. He never found a place he liked being, though.
Though his penchant for being the center of attention lead to quite a scene where he was shipped off to his first asylum. He refuses to talk about the incident currently, but what's written in notes is that upon seeing someone who looked very much like the soldier he shot the eye out of, he broke into tears and followed the man for hours until authorities were called.
Ocelot spent a week at the former asylum where he regressed further. He seemed to have made friends, but it is unlikely that these relationships were honest. Ocelot went unmedicated and without therapy for several days. He was reassigned to another asylum by Dr.John Hayter who is also "Snake".
Ocelot was also insufficiently diagnosed by his previous institute.
Symptoms: Ocelot exhibits several types of anxiety disorders including Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and Separation Anxiety. His anxiety is comorbid with Borderline Personality Disorder which makes him more dangerous.
Ocelot is an extremely nervous person who has learned to mask the "weakness" with his grand facades and OCD tic stabilizers. Ocelot's default outward emotion can be summed up by "pleasant attention whore". He likes to draw attention to himself so that he can direct other's vision of him to his better qualities such as skill or intelligence or eccentric quirkiness. Ocelot is uncomfortable when he is not in some sort of spotlight.
However, his OCD objects that help him keep the facade were his revolvers and spurs, both items that due to their obvious danger potential were taken from Ocelot. He complains about needing them frequently and has done things like spinning pens or shoelaces that he has stolen or moving in rigid patterns. Also without his uniform has a whole nervous activity gone: fiddling with his uniform's belts, scarf, holsters, wrinkles and neatness.
Ocelot's PTSD developed from his career and home life. Because he is recently ex-military, he can still vividly remember all the grisly sights of dead and half dead people strewn across a battle field. He sometimes has nightmares concerning it, but because of the way he thinks, he recalls the images during casual conversation. But before his military life, he was adopted into a house where nearly everyone was military or ex-military and consequently he was abused physically and mentally out of their PTSD. PTSD sufferers are known to be more likely to abuse children and family members.
Ocelot's strange crush on Snake led to severe attachment and Separation Anxiety after the mission. After he had pulled himself together enough to go look for Snake, he began obsessing more than usual. He was upset for not being around him, and wanted desperately to go back to him. At his old asylum he met back up with Snake (aka Dr.John Hayter) and stabilized in a sense. However he also became unhealthily attached to the concept of him being at an arm's length.
To cap off his anxiety, Ocelot is Borderline. He exhibits excessive impulsively, anger management issues, and "splitting" on his more manic days. Prior to institutionalization, he would consistently act out on him anger and impulses. His impulses were always dangerous ones such as pursuing enemies under-armed, playing with his guns, or giving off a fighting attitude.
He does everything he can to remain in close enough contact with Hayter, and everyone else he has very unstable relationships with. He constantly near-worships and devalues everyone according to their actions. Ocelot has trouble leaving wounds alone, and had a brief episode of self mutilation a few years back. He has chronic feelings of worthlessness because he has always measured himself by his actions. When he fails, he can't take it in a healthy manner, he simply loses his self respect and self-worth. This also ties into his instability of moods.
Ocelot can have very good days when he wants to be around people. but mostly he just wants to be loved the same way his mother loved him. That is, obsessively and completely. Which he is not going to find in a normal relationship.
Examples
Roleplay:
Ocelot walked in a tight circle in his room. He paced around, trying to get a hold of his mind. He still did not have his revolvers or spurs. Yet he needed both to maintain sanity. He had not yet been medicated. Just brought in. Ocelot had the distinct feeling he was living in his own mind since the move. He liked it back at his old asylum. The doctors and nurses left him alone, and he could just walk around as he pleased. Except they still took this things.
Ocelot looked around for anything to settle himself. The circular pacing was making him dizzy. He fell backwards onto his bed, and covered his face until his head stopped swimming. He pulled the left lace out of his sneaker and twirled it, letting it wrap around his hand with a gentle whipping motion. Then he'd turn it the opposite direction. And repeat. Find John, his brain cried. Ocelot stood, the blood rushing to his head. He kept a firm grip on the shoelace, twirling it as discreetly as he could. His vision went black and blotchy, but he kept his balance long enough for that to clear.
"What a fine institution," he muttered to himself once he left his room. The lay out was different from his last vacation. He's have to do what he always did: learn the area and pretend he'd been there his whole life. Except.
There was still something unnerving about being surrounded by crazy people, Ocelot thought, adamantly
disregarding that he could also fit "crazy". John told him before he was shipped off that some of his friends would be here, too. He could always reacquaint himself with them. But he needed John. Perhaps if Ocelot made some new friends, John would be better inclined to believe he was alright in the head.
Mission: Allies resumed. Ocelot took note of the cameras and the few unfriendly looking guards. This was a very, very different place indeed.
Journal Entry: Six sentences minimum. We'd just like a sample of a typical journal entry once in the asylum.
Fuck. Fuck. This place is nothing like the old asylum. I'm so fucked.
Everyone already knows how I feel about John. If they take him from me I'm going to have to.
I'm not writing that. I'm not insane. Goddmanit I'm not insane and no one will believe me.
Let me out. God. I should have paid my way out while I was at the last place, they were so corrupt and
I'm scared.
John. If you're reading this. Come find me. Please.
Travis. We could go have a good time. Just. Sitting and talking and pretending Nothing Exists.
I'm not insane. I promise.
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 | soviet_cowboy@livejournal.com |
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